2009 in a nutshell, because I can.

I'm listening to some music that can be reflected in my past year. 2009 was the year of 'prepare the bird, fly bird'. Early 2009 I was working at Longs, took classes, favorite: black and white photography. I was this crazy earthy Big Island chick. My folks moved in February to South Point, while I stayed on the east side for 3 months. One full month solo in the empty apartment. Two-ish months with my photographer at the time. I listened to a lot of Circa Survive and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Actually a lot of everything. I started getting into heavier and experimental music. A lot of what kids on the mainland would like, (A Day To Remember, warped tour type bands).... and what I like too, my surroundings just forbade me. I was lonely a lot, but created a great world/aura around me. Paradise Park was the ultimate jungle, past yet futuristic environment. I went back and forth between Hilo and South Point numerous times. I kinda shat my pants at the thought of staying down there all summer though. The boredom and confidedness in the rural would have driven me insane, and it did. It was music, art and imagination that set me free out there, and telling myself this wont be forever. I was so glad for the west coast trip. I got closer to what I wanted in my heart. My decision to move was precious. I wasn't going anywhere in Hawaii, but would have faced more loneliness and no school, cause financial aid didn't do me justice. For years, I've wanted to become who I was, without someone hovering over me with judgement and negativity. To have Daniel in my life, I could ask for nothing better. He keeps my youthfulness alive, not that he's that much younger, or not that I'm so old yet. I seem to anyway get along with people a bit younger than me anyway. I was able to find my soul in Hawaii. But just like without the sun, your skin can't convert proteins to vitamin D, there's no soul without music for me. Hawaii has peace. I made my surroundings seem young and hip in the heart, even though the land was ancient, and I was alone and no one wanted me, and there would most likely never be anything there, just the aina. I would have rotted out there sooner or later. I don't care if they say mainland this or that, I love to be a part of this, the now. I love my generation and what it's doing to the world. That's all I want. I don't care for what's going to happen in the future, well, I do, but enjoying now is so much more important. We're going to grow up together. There's just a priceless change that happened when I moved over here. The world opened up to me. Not everything turned out the same way as I anticipated, but on days off, I work towards it. This boy showed so much interest in me. I literally dropped everything for him. If it weren't for him coming onto me so strong, I would have probably just brushed him off, but him showing such strong interest meant something so much, and that I felt like the love I gave, is received and appreciated. I learned about love in different ways. Like embrace the togetherness and that life wont always happen exactly like you anticipate, but the importances will happen. I've visioned a boy like him by my side even before I've had a first boyfriend. He's a keeper for me. I love when he kidnapped me just about every day and took me to Snohomish overnight while his mom wasn't home. We did that pattern until we moved in together. It took only a month. It may seem like we rushed into moving in together, but I love it. It has been half a year, our lease is almost up, and I'm pretty sure we're going to keep sticking together.